Motivation Monday: You Are Worthy of the Thing You Are Chasing

Let's talk about the voice that shows up right when you are about to do something that matters.

Not the negative self-talk voice. Not the one that says you are going to fail. The sneakier one. The one that says you do not even deserve to try.

That voice has a name. Imposter syndrome. And I do not know a single person who does not have it in some form.

What It Actually Feels Like From the Inside

From the inside, imposter syndrome feels like you somehow tricked your way into being somewhere you do not deserve to be. Like the praise is not really for you. Like you are a fraud, a faker, taking people for a ride.

It is a strange and disorienting feeling. Because what it really reflects is that you were never truly ready until you did the thing. And once you do it and it works, instead of thinking I was capable of this all along, you think there must be some mistake here.

The competence was always there. The confidence just had not caught up yet.

Why It Happens

It takes far more evidence to convince yourself of your own competence than it does to convince other people.

Other people see your actions. They judge you on what you have done, what you have produced, what you have shown them. They do not have access to the running commentary of doubt and second guessing happening inside your head.

But you do. And because you have that access, the emotions get in the way of the facts.

I was part of a short film this summer that my roommate and his media company, CBW Media, made called Deteriorate. A few weeks before shooting he told me he was nervous about it. I told him I was not nervous at all. I know him. I know what he is capable of. From the outside it was easy to look at what he had done before and feel completely confident he was going to pull it off.

But of course, the film was not my baby. It was not my vision. When it is your own thing, emotions are a lot harder to ignore than facts.

Who Am I to Be Doing This

I feel imposter syndrome most when I am creating content for this brand.

Genuinely, who am I to tell people things? I have learned some lessons. I know some stuff. But I do not really see myself as anything special or as having something exceptional to offer.

And yet it is reaching people.

Here is what I have come to believe. Most of what someone might consider exceptional is just someone willing to do it. That sounds almost too simple but I think it is true. I am not an exceptional person. But my willingness to reach out and try to help, to do something that many people think about doing but never attempt, is what makes it worth something.

The DECA Story

In high school I did DECA, which is a business competition club. The format is simple. You sit down with a business problem, you get ten to fifteen minutes to think of a solution, and then you present it to a judge.

I was a high schooler. I did not know anything about running a business practically. I felt like I was just saying whatever sounded good and hoping for the best.

I won fourth in state in my category.

Apparently I knew what I was talking about even if I did not know I knew. The knowledge was there. The confidence was not. And I almost let the lack of confidence convince me the knowledge was not either.

The Real Fear Behind Imposter Syndrome

Here is the thing about imposter syndrome that took me a long time to understand, and I am borrowing some of this thinking from The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest.

The fear is not what if I fail. I fail a lot. It really is not that big of a deal.

The real fear, the one that masks itself as imposter syndrome, is what if it is successful and requires something of me that I do not have yet? What if success demands a better version of me than I have any proof I am capable of becoming?

That fear is sneaky because it disguises itself as humility. It says I am just being realistic, I am just being careful, I am just making sure I do not get in over my head.

What it is actually doing is keeping you in a place you are comfortable. A life you know how to navigate even if it is not the life you want. Because at least you understand it. At least you know you can handle it.

The unknown version of your life where things are going well but also demanding more of you is genuinely scary. It is okay to admit that.

But you have to believe that you can adapt and grow into the version of yourself that can handle it. Because no one who made anything significant started out a master. Everyone was new at one point.

Taylor Swift does not have fifteen multiplatinum albums because she was born knowing how to make them. I do not know her personally, my sister would love it if I did, but I am pretty sure she had the same doubts at some point as the person who is about to start does right now.

Healthy Self Awareness vs Imposter Syndrome

There is a difference between the two worth naming.

Healthy self awareness means knowing your weaknesses, being willing to admit them, and working to improve them. Nobody is perfect. We all have blind spots. Recognizing them and addressing them is how you grow.

Imposter syndrome is different. It is feeling like even what you are genuinely good at, you refuse to allow yourself to feel confident about. It tells you that the things you have actually done do not count, that the positive feedback you have received is a lie, that eventually everyone is going to find out you are a fraud.

That is not useful information. That is just a lie wearing the costume of self awareness.

Confidence comes with repetition. You do the thing, you survive it, you do it again. Every time the evidence builds. Every time the voice gets a little quieter.

Look at the Evidence Not How You Feel

When imposter syndrome is loud, try to do this one thing.

Look at what you have actually accomplished. Think about the feedback you have received. Is it positive? Have you done things that worked? Have people responded to what you put out into the world?

If the answer is yes then you are doing better than the voice in your head is telling you.

I know this is hard. I struggle with it myself. Whenever someone wants to give me feedback on something I have done I am so convinced they are going to tell me it’s garbage that I barely register when the feedback is actually positive. We all live inside our own heads. There is no way around that.

But as best as I can I try to make living in my own head a nice place to be.

How Do You Know Until You Know

If you are sitting there telling yourself you are not worthy of the thing you are chasing, I have one question.

How do you know?

What, you convinced yourself before even trying that you cannot do it? You have a crystal ball or something? If so can I borrow it for sports betting and winning lottery number purposes.

Here is the truth. If you do not try then no, you are not worthy of it. You are not giving yourself the chance to find out. But if you try, you might just discover what you are actually capable of. And that discovery is almost always more than you expected.

Self doubt is often a lie we tell ourselves to keep ourselves safe. You do not have to believe every thought you have about yourself.

You Are Worthy

Bite Back means a lot of things across everything we have written on this blog.

In this context it means prove your self doubt wrong.

It means showing up for the thing you want even when the voice says you have no right to want it. It means collecting the evidence that the voice is lying. It means doing the thing scared and uncertain and unqualified feeling, and finding out on the other side that you were more capable than you knew.

Self doubt is okay. We all have it.

You just do not have to let it control your life.

We are the underdogs. We don't stay down, we bite back.